by Tim

Last night, at the brand new IMAX screen in my favorite movie theater, I saw Watchmen. I’ve been to an OMNIMAX a few times in my life, but never its little flat brother for regular movies, the IMAX, until now. I can say that I enjoyed the IMAX experience overall, but I am still not sold about whether it’s worth a 33% higher ticket price.

Watchmen was great. I’ll probably be looking at the graphic novel soon, even though I’ve previously never really heard of it. The film had a couple minor issues, but overall—I don’t see why it’s getting such mediocre reviews. It’s not the best movie that even came out this year by any means, but it’s so fun. And pretty.

In the graphic novel and film, for those not aware, one of the heroes is more “above man” (indeed, a ‘super’man, if ‘super’ means above (which it does)), Dr. Manhattan. Why would someone above the status of being human feel the need to conform to our standards of life, such as clothes? We’re the only things that wear clothes so it’d be silly for a random higher life form to also do so.

What I’m getting at is—Dr. Manhattan is nude throughout the film and graphic novel, and it speaks deep into his character’s detachment from humanity. There is a reason that you see so much glowing blue cock. His character would be far less interesting from a psychological point of view if he continued to conform in this extremely human way (of wearing clothes).

I stood outside the screening room at the movie theater last night at 1:45am when it finished (I went at 1:00pm to buy tickets but all of the times had been sold out until 10:45pm) to listen to the conversation of the masses while my dad used the bathroom. I heard literally six people say almost the same exact line:

“That was a great movie, but it could have really done without the penis.”

No, it could not have. The penis was extremely relevant and deep, and took leaps in direct adaptation and expectations of film and everything. On the IMDb forums, there are about 2000 threads also with this title. Straight guys with insecurities can just get over themselves, especially for the following reasons. First of all, the penis was in CGI and you had to look at it to even notice it, especially thanks to Dr. Manhattan’s complete lack of hair. Second, it probably had less than a minute of on-screen time in general. Third, the character is fucking blue and does not really look all that human because of it. Would an ape’s penis freak you out, too? Should they put shorts on apes in documentary films, too, now? I heard the same complaint about 28 Days Later countless times. That was a cool movie, but why’d they have to show the guy’s dick? He woke up in an abandoned hospital. That’s fucking why. I didn’t even notice the second and a half of penis the first time I saw the movie.

These are the same guys who think a movie is outstanding because a woman is topless for literally no reason in it (do we really need to see her whole body during that shower scene? We know that she’s naked, she’s in the shower. One cannot assume Dr. Manhattan is nude.)—or, possibly worse in some fucked way, don’t even think anything about their nudity—such as Mystique in X-Men. I love Mystique’s nudity (which is frankly about as realistically human and blue as Dr. Manhattan), and I think it speaks to some of the same issues of conformity to human culture that Dr. Manhattan’s nudity does.

There’s a great line in the second X-Men film that I’ve quoted and has been quoted by others to be about homophobia (which X-Men alludes to a lot, and very likely on purpose):

Nightcrawler: They say you can imitate anybody, even their voice.
Mystique: [as Nightcrawler] Even their voice.
Nightcrawler: Then why not stay in disguise all the time? You know, look like everyone else.
Mystique: Because we shouldn’t have to.

Mystique shouldn’t have to wear clothes just because humans do. Bisexuals shouldn’t have to pretend they’re straight just because that’s what’s more accepted. Dr. Manhattan shouldn’t have to wear clothes just because humans do.

If a person has a very great reason to be nude in a film, I think that’s fantastic. Women, men, old people, whoever. (I think more hardcore sex scenes—yes, even between women or heterosexual couples or men—can even be in mainstream film, but that’s a different argument).

If we’re going to show womens’ TNA everywhere, a smidgen of flaccid (blue!) penis isn’t going to kill you. It would have destroyed his character to be anything but in his natural state.